August 2012
arlingtondrivee:
OMG
olympic gymnast: jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background
me: falls on face trying to put socks on
how i would narrate the Olympics
me: they're doing some athletic shit
July 2012
my health teacher asked for different ways to prevent pregnancy and i said “do it in the butt” and i got extra credit because no one has ever said that before
Plot Twist: Spongebob is not ready.